I don’t need to list out all of the reasons why life is really hard, stressful, and overwhelming right now. Of course, some people are disproportionately impacted by current stressors (Black folks, folks who lost a loved one to COVID or the climate disasters, those struggling financially, those attempting full-time work and full-time teaching their kids).

However, we all are having a tough time in our own way. I’m hearing from many friends, family members, and students of mine (and experiencing myself) that just existing, and doing simple tasks that we used to do in a snap, takes much more effort and mental preparation.

Here are a few ways to give yourself a big hug during this time of anxiety and unknown:

Make a list of what you can and can’t control. Our minds typically focus on things that are out of our control, and yet when we cannot control things and focus on them anyway, it leads to even more anxiety and feelings of hopelessness. Instead, make a list of what is out of your control, and then make a list of what you can control (your breath, the boundaries you set, reaching out to loved ones), and attempt to focus on those things instead.

Give yourself a weekly Shabbat. In Jewish tradition, from Friday at sundown to Saturday at sundown, people are intended to stop, relax, laugh with loved ones, spend time in nature. This full day of being helps to prepare for an upcoming week of doing. Find times during the week where you can incorporate this ritual, whether it be for a full day, a few hours, or 15 minutes each morning.

Have things to look forward to.  Many if not all of your exciting plans this year may have gotten cancelled or postponed. Psychology suggests that having a fun, relaxing, or community building activity to look forward to is always important for our mental health, especially right now. Don’t discount the small things—like decorating your home for the holidays, planning to make your favorite in-depth fall baked good, or a weekly phone date with a friend.

Don’t worry alone. Most, if not all, of the people in your life are likely also feeling quite overwhelmed, anxious, fatigued… whatever emotions most resonate. You do not have to carry the weight of your emotions by yourself. Reach out to friends, invest in yourself by finding a therapist, take time to talk about non-work things with colleagues. Chances are most people in your life can relate if you’re having a tough time, and can offer you validation and support.

Do one thing a day that helps you be present. Even Dan Harris, host of Ten Percent Happier, admitted that meditation is hard right now. While your regular meditation practice may be stranded back in March, find ways to help you feel present each day, in order to get some reprieve from your mind. This could be laughing with a friend, practicing yoga, watching The Office, or using all five senses when you cook.

Turn anxiety into action. It’s tempting to sink into the feeling of hopelessness with everything going on. However, the positive psychology PERMA well-being model suggests that meaning-making and accomplishments help us feel a bit better and more in control. There are many steps we can take to turn feelings of anxiety into something positive—this could be joining a climate justice organization, writing postcards to suppressed voters, or donating food to a local food pantry.

Life is challenging right now, and whatever works to help you get through it is all we can ask. I want to give you a gentle reminder that it’s OK (and super normal) if you’re not as productive as you used to be, or as cheery, or as calm.

How are you? How’s the semester going? How are you taking care of yourself? I would love to hear from you—my email is sphwell@bu.edu, and my (virtual) door is always open.

Warmly,
Ilana

Ilana Schlesinger, MA, RYT
Wellness Coordinator

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