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Voices & Opinion

Why Are So Many Gen X Women Asking about Kate Middleton?

The answer lies in the enigma she’s created as well as the version of traditional womanhood she presents to the public, says BU historian and Royals commentator

As a longtime royal commentator, former member of the Royal Household, and dual citizen of the United Kingdom and the United States who teaches British history, I am often asked for my take on Royal matters. What is fascinating is how much of the conversation here in America is deeply gendered and circles around perceptions of popularity, but with my British friends and family generally, it tends to fall along more politicized lines. 

When King Charles III was crowned last May, I provided a day of color commentary on local Boston news channels, but hardly a soul reached out to ask me about the day as an historical event. When the late Queen fell ill, I fulfilled news requests from across the globe and more casually listened to numerous tales of touching personal interactions with HRH. Many saw her as a grandmother figure that existed on the periphery of their lives; a sign of stability and continuity despite the Cold War, economic turmoil, and terrorism. When it comes to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry comes up occasionally in conversation, his wife, Meghan Markle, quite a bit more, and everyone has an opinion about their exit from the “Firm.” 

But until last week, I had rarely been asked about Kate Middleton, the Princess of Wales and future Queen of England. That all changed after a photograph of her with her children was released last week, and she allegedly “went missing.” It created a media frenzy after it was revealed that the image had been digitally manipulated, leading to rampant speculation about Kate’s personal situation. Why is this? Why are friends, family, people I went to high school with (!), reaching out directly and needing to know more? I think the answer to this lies in the enigma of Kate Middleton, and how she has embraced her role as the Princess of Wales, future Queen, and mother to the future King of England…but also the version of traditional womanhood she presents to the public.

Middleton, a graduate of the elite Marlborough College grew up in rarified circumstances, but her industrious parents founded a party supply company that created this wealth and the opportunities for their children to enter into elite circles. Kate went on to pursue a degree in art history at the ancient university of St. Andrew’s in Scotland after a gap year. There, she renewed an acquaintance with Prince William. Their dating life became fodder for the tabloids on both sides of the Atlantic after the famous 2002 student fashion show in which she infamously wore a “barely there” outfit. Arguably, this was the last moment that Kate ever scandalized anyone until this past month. Her “girl next door” looks appealed to the public and love for her grew as she and William dated on and off. She was famously nicknamed “Waity Katie” as she began her career at the fashion chain Jigsaw while waiting for an engagement. Her femininity, gorgeous hair, sportiness, “safe” career, beauty, and family wealth made her an enviable figure to many. Back then Prince William was regarded as one of the most attractive young men in the world and his future role was merely an added bonus to his already heady appeal. We never found out if Kate was particularly brilliant, but it didn’t seem to matter. To many Gen X women, she seemed to have it all.

Fast forward to April 2011, when Kate married William in the storybook setting of Westminster Abbey, forming a triumvirate of youth and vitality with her new husband and dashing but naughty brother-in-law, Harry. Traditional notions of womanhood set against a backdrop of modernity made the public regard their future Queen with a solid air of acceptance. Contrast this version of womanhood with her husband’s cousins Eugenie and Beatrice, who were often seen to be awkward and make poor fashion choices. No, Kate was just “perfect.” And this perfection is where the problem lies now…and why I am being inundated with Gen X women wanting to know, “Where is Kate Middleton?”

The former Duchess of Cambridge gave birth to three heirs to the throne. She suffered in these pregnancies with hyperemesis gravidarum (severe morning sickness), which reminded mothers that Kate was “just like them,” but that, in addition, she had a painful experience to overcome that was part of her very real sacrifice to do her duty to continue the hereditary Royal line. But the Duchess of Cambridge curiously exited the hospital after only a few hours looking stunning and baby in tow despite the months of extreme vomiting. Did she raise the bar too high both for herself and other women of her generation? 

In many ways Kate has been an enigma—she presents as an idealized (old-fashioned?) version of womanhood, adhering to traditional beauty tropes, but also as “perfected” womanhood—devoted wife, mother, talented photographer, thin, wealthy, well-educated, sporty—reportedly she even makes all of the children’s birthday cakes from scratch. She is unlike other female relatives of her generation who are lampooned for hat choices, husbands, careers, and having opinions…and that is why this moment of illness, absence, and apologies has become so hyper-everything. She is suddenly not perfect, and unwilling, or rather, unable to show the public this other side of her. The future Queen (or, those in the Kensington Palace inner circle) refuses to raise the curtain to let the public see weakness. We are barred from the realities of recovering from surgery as a mother to three young children, with a husband often away (for whatever reason), and with this, a chance to show the public that she truly is just like them in some small way. And, for the first time her absence and Photoshopgate have put her on the firing line—a place she has not been since she wore a bandeau top in a student fashion show in Scotland.

But, ideals of feminine perfection are another trope that must be added to the mess of what has been happening since, ironically enough, English Mother’s Day last week. It is fascinating to see that the future Queen was wrapped “in cotton wool” for weeks and protected from prying investigations into the nature of her “abdomen surgery,” but is now largely on her own as her Kensington Palace public relations team clamored to figure out what to do—in the end, they decided to have her turn up Sunday at a Windsor Farmers’ Market (with husband in tow) to combat hysterical internet conspiracy theories about her whereabouts. Her dignity was being preserved at a high cost that was very much worthwhile to the Crown, but now the tide of popular opinion has changed as outlandish conspiracy theories fill the vacuum created by the royal line of…“never complain, never explain,” in the words of the late Queen.

Perhaps the most important lesson to be learned from this PR debacle is that the vast majority of the population must rush back to work and parenting after surgeries and are not able to fully recover from surgeries (and generally aren’t having to tell people about their private medical issues). Here we see a woman who is given the benefit of full recovery time, which we should all experience but will, most probably, not. The clamor for her is a public demand to return to work when her body still needs to heal—and now forced to appear when her body might not have fully healed, but also not been “perfected” yet? “The Duchess” set the bar very high for “Kate”—give birth, walk out the door hours later, glowing, with perfect hair. Did Kate Middleton fall prey to the monster of public opinion, or is she just shocked to be at the center of scandal, a role that has been borne by Meghan Markle since 2017? Or, did the impossible tropes of both modern and traditional womanhood create a juggernaut no woman, not even a Queen, can truly navigate?

Oh, and where do I honestly think she has been? I will take off my historian hat, and answer as a mom. I think she was at home resting, her mum coming over and helping with the kids, getting the groceries delivered, and depending on trusted friends—who knew where she was all along.

Kathryn Lamontagne (GRS’16,’20) is a lecturer in social sciences at the College of General Studies; she can be reached at kgl@bu.edu.

“POV” is an opinion page that provides timely commentaries from students, faculty, and staff on a variety of issues: on-campus, local, state, national, or international. Anyone interested in submitting a piece, which should be about 700 words long, should contact John O’Rourke at orourkej@bu.edu. BU Today reserves the right to reject or edit submissions. The views expressed are solely those of the author and are not intended to represent the views of Boston University.